Hillbilly fun at the VA

Hi everyone! Well, I read Missy's story (very entertaining) about the questionable and remote furniture store, and realized there are sure a lot of funny things that happen that never get written down. Well, I have something funny that I would like to write down for your enjoyment. . .

I was at work the other day, and I had this patient ( I think about 72 years old) with a really heavy southern accent, except it wasn't just southern it was like. . . "ignernt" southern. I asked him where he was from and he told me he was from Chatanooga, Tennessee. I was excited because I've been there before, and told him I went to see the "Chatanooga Choo Choo" while I was there. He told me it was a lot different when he was growing up there "a million years ago", before they built the water turbines and created a river and such. He grew up in the backwoods and his family grew corn. He lived in a small cabin with 7 brothers and sisters (well, half-brothers and sisters because his mama didn't know who the father was of most of them). They didn't have electricity until he was 11 years old, and then it was just a single lightbulb.

That was all very intriguing to me, and it reminded me of Dolly Parton's story. Then he began educating me on the ways of the hillbillies. He told me he was kind of ashamed of his background, and when he came to Utah, he changed his name for $152. I asked him, just jokingly, "So, what was your hillbilly name, Billy Bob?" Without even looking up, he nodded and said, "yep". He told me that in hillbilly families, usually the firstborn son is named Billy Bob (William Robert is the official name), and that son usually ends up going by Bubba. The firstborn girl of a hillbilly family is usually called "Sissy" as a nickname. Bubba and Sissy are names that can be transferred to other kids in the family, usually the fattest kids end up with those names. When "Sissy" becomes a teenager, it is more respectful to call her Sister. So, in the backcountry, there can be "hollers" full of Bubbas and Sisters.

He then told me that he married a girl from Louisiana, and his mother didn't speak to him for 3 years because he married outside the family. Apparently, in hillbilly families, it is simply expected that you marry your cousins. All of this patient's siblings married their first cousins, and he was the only one to break the "rule". He taught me that if your two cousins marry each other, their baby is called your "double first cousin". He told me he met a hillbilly from Louisiana who married his own sister! I asked him how the kids turn out in these families, and he said mostly they're just "ignernt" and unable to function without welfare. I wonder, though, if those genes don't show up later in life as a person gets older, you know, strange sicknesses and immunodeficiency and things.

Just some fun facts for you about our hillbilly friends. Thank goodness for education! Have a fun day!